I think I'm going mentally crazy! What is wrong with me? (Long question description)?

Ever since I was little I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I had problems with telling the difference between realistic and unrealistic events. I have always done well in school, and have been a top reader in my grade. I love playing clical music on my saxophone and piano, and is seen as a gifted musical student. Everyone believed me to be the "perfect" child until they found out my most horrible secret. No one other than my parents and brother knew about my schizophrenia until my aunt found out. The gossip spread like wildfire through my whole family (as ridiculous as it sounds my family is based on image and money). Everyone looked at me as if I were contagious and may spread this "illness" to my cousins my age, so I was banned from my family reunions. My family took advantage of this "weak spot" in my "perfect" image that they just added fuel to the fire of feeling like garbage. I started becoming suicidal and was sent to two mental hospitals in one year. I then later decided "I will not let my family get satisfaction of this" so I started working even harder in school to the point where I am going to graduate earlier than my predicted age. Of course my aunt that first started this gossip is furious, and is trying every means possible to ruin me. I am glad though that I'm at a point where image doesn't matter to me anymore. I am looking forward and not back, so I started doing really well in life and felt happy. That is until my schizophrenia started to affect me more than usual, and I have been to the point of paranoia. I feel like everything is out to get me, and that I may be possessed by something supernatural. I fear looking in the mirror because my reflection scares me so much that I feel paralyzed. I feel like my reflection is not me, it is somebody else. I can't get it out of my head no matter how hard I try. Please no sarcastic responses that "Your so ugly your reflection even scares you" because that is not the problem. I feel as if I'm looking at a demon and not me. A monster of some sort that will devour me with anger and hatred. I don't know if my previous problem has anything to do with this, but I can't help but feel the urge to want and go stab all my family for the suffering they put my parents through. My mother would cry every day because of how my family looked and treated me. She even confronted my uncle and told him why his wife was doing this. He slapped my mother in front of my grandfather, and then left angrily that morning. I felt this huge hatred boil inside of me when I heard this, especially after finding out that my mother had kept it a secret so the news wouldn't affect my already weak mind. That I lost feeling in all my body and fainted. I have been receiving professional attention for years now, and this still hasn't changed. I'm only 16, but I feel my life is out of control. I have never had any friends and have never been one to think "normally". I may look at an object, and think something, while everyone else will think something else entirely. Isolation is something that has always been part of my life. I have never been to parties or anything social other then school and family events. The only place I feel I can relate to someone is on stage performing music. You see more eccentric open-minded people in musical audiences that I feel like a bond that I can't get anywhere else is created on stage. Without speaking or having to hear my thoughts I can perform as pionately and "odd" as I want. I look like a completely different person on stage and always think, "this is me! It's the real me!" Usually when I'm in my room isolated I look in the mirror, and the look in my eyes scares me to no end. I just see endless pits of hatred and horror that even I want to hide in a corner and cry. I don't know what to do. I feel as if I may be losing my mind, and I'm not sane anymore. Not that I was sane to begin with. If everyone can please give me your opinions on this problem. I have had doctors opinions, but all they lead to is a higher dosage of medication. Please is there any way that I can get out of this paranoia?